Categories
Leading with heart

“isms”

I won an award. But that part isn’t as important as the words I was afforded the opportunity to share with others when I accepted my award.

When thinking of what to speak about, my mind became hyper-focused on the concept of culture. I am most proud of the culture we have built at our school. We celebrate strengths. We laugh a lot. We are a family not afraid to hold each other accountable. Our family extends to our kitchen staff and bus drivers. Everyone is included, acknowledged, and celebrated for the incredible ways they support our students.

Rather than speak about a project I spearheaded, I proudly shared catchphrases or heuristics, as Daniel Coyle writes about in his book, The Culture Code. These phrases, which some might say are corny, live in my heart and give me purpose.

Disclaimer: I can’t take credit for all of them! Here we go:

  1. Everyone is someone’s baby. For every child demonstrating frustrating behavior, behavior that interferes with learning, behavior that doesn’t seem to respond to intervention the way you would like or hope, there is a family who loves that child fiercely. That child is their brightest light. Do not dim it.
  2. We are not in the business of crushing dreams. It is not up to us to determine what a child can or cannot do after leaving us after high school. We see test scores and developmental assessments as we sit through evaluation meetings. Please remember this is not the whole child’s story. They are worth so much more.
  3. Each night, when I lay my head down on that pillow, I need to know that I did right by kids. We have all endured many challenging, heated conversations with colleagues around what is best for kids. Advocacy is lonely, but you simply cannot go wrong when you put kids at the forefront of your decisions.
  4. Children aren’t waking up saying, “I want to have a bad day at school today.” Neither are adults. Give grace. Give support. Both can be given with accountability.
  5. When someone says, “It’s not like we are saving lives,” I respond with, “Yes, we are.” You don’t know the impact your love, support, and belief have not only on a student but also on their family.
  6. Nothing goes wrong on a Friday. Because it is Friday and you have the whole weekend ahead of you. Relax, tomorrow is Saturday. Give yourself the opportunity to walk out those doors and enjoy your weekend. No doubt you earned it. Your Friday problem will still be there on Monday, but you will address it with a clearer mind and hopefully a lighter heart.

Thank you, Reader. You fill my cup when you take the time to read my posts. I am humbled by each of you.

Categories
Leading with heart

Not my best day

I lost my cool today, and I’m not proud of it. I can with 100% certainty share with you, reader, that I do not often lose my cool. And to make matters worse, I did it through email. I feel like I checked every box in leadership failure.

I defined passive aggressiveness and justified it because I was advocating for a student.

I should have taken the time to reflect on why I was so upset. I should have considered the situation from the other person’s perspective. Should have, could have, would have.

Reader, I have come back to this post time and time again, not sure I was ready to continue writing. But like with all imperfections, accidents, failures, etc., I have learned a few lessons:

  1. Trust the process. Not all problems need to be solved immediately. In fact, the more time you allow for thought and reflection, the less intense the problem becomes. Soon enough, the answer to your struggles will show up.
  2. Pray. And as the saying goes, pray when it is hardest to pray. The sense of calm you are looking for will come through when you pray.
  3. You don’t have to solve all of the problems. Lean on your trusted circle and collaborate.
  4. Ask to meet in person. Talk it out. Model the importance of leaning into challenging conversations and coming through to the other side stronger for it.
  5. Forgive yourself. You are going to make mistakes. There is no such thing as a perfect leader. In fact, I’d argue that modeling imperfection humanizes you.

Dear reader, I hope this list resonates with you and offers you a guiding light when you are doubting yourself. What matters at the end of the day is the growth we make from our reflection and mistakes. When you place more importance on heart than buzzwords, you are halfway there.

Categories
Leading with heart

More heart

I used to think having a big heart in a leadership role was a bad thing. I had this idea that an effective leader is strict and firm in their decision-making. As I gain more experience (and, quite frankly, get older), I slowly embrace who I am a little more each day. And while I firmly believe any career requires you to develop “thick skin,” I also believe you can do this while still maintaining a heart for others around you.

It starts with an appreciation for what each member of your team, building, etc. bring to the table. I work in a school system, and my baseline is this: How do you treat and talk about kids? Do we laugh about the things kids do? You bet. Do their behaviors frustrate us? All the time. But do I believe kids still deserve respect and dignity? 100%. The teachers in our building walk through the doors each day with one goal: to do right by the kids. And I never miss an opportunity to recognize and thank them for it.

My intent in starting this blog is not to give advice, although at times I will share my thoughts. My purpose is to honor and thank my colleagues, friends, mentors, and leaders who have substantially impacted me. I would not be who I am or where I am without the amazing individuals God has put in my path.